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protecting your fellowship from Coronavirus

there's been a large spike in the number of absences in elvenar that started on monday, march 9. fellowships in Arendyll and Winyandor have reported an increase in absences of 70% already. Felyndral seems to be the origin of most illnesses w/ a whopping 90% of all fellowships reporting new absences this week. this often happens during the course of fellowship adventures and has led the World Health Organization to declare that fellowship adventures are the leading cause of viruses, infections, and other illnesses among elvenar players.

currently, the WHO, united states congress, and officials from the EU are working w/ both Inno games and Elvenar to reduce outbreaks by limiting the amount of adventures that will be planned for the future. but, as many of you who remember how long it took for royal restoration spells to come out should know, don't expect Elvenar or Inno games to act on this until sometime late in the year 2024.

in the meantime, protect your fellows, neighbors, and yourself from viruses by-

washing and sanitizing hands often
using face masks when visiting other cities in both your fellowship and local neighborhoods
avoiding hand shakes. i recommend flashing the heavy metal "devil horns" instead or doing the mike pence elbow bump that many of you americans probably are aware of
reducing contact by messages or chat w/ players that also have cities in Felyndral. we haven't identified a patient zero yet, but whoever it is surely came from EN3
limiting the amount of badges required from fellows has been known to reduce the amount of illnesses and absences that happen during the course of an adventure.
most importantly, use your feet to push the flush levels when using public toilets. if the lever is too high or if you have tiny hobbit legs, just leave it unflushed and let the next guy worry about any mess you've left.
in extreme cases, fellows that have been proven to have weakened immune systems will need to be quarantined. these fellows can be identified by tracking their absences during adventures and anyone that has been absent for more than 2 adventures should be quarantined by having a mage or archmage press the "expel member" button.

please do your part to limit the spread of contagious illnesses and to protect your fellowships from reduced productivity during the course of this or any other fellowship adventure.

please don't take this message seriously. anyone who was considering doing so should be prevented from using sharp scissors, power tools, motor vehicles, and should be extra careful near coffee tables w/ sharp corners.